How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
