I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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