i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
