he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i've created a new STD.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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