Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
