Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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