I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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