Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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