My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
