the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's shark week go big or go home
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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