Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
