right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
True strength comes from lack of pants
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
