this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
