ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
