How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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