Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
