Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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