someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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