McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have feelings that need drinking.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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