No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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