I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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