I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
