so that wasnt chicken after all
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
