U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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