so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
