so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
