do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
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There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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