marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
