If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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