She's JV to your varsity
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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