woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
