He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
