i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
