Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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