I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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