i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
