Can Purell be used as lube?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
