the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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