how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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