Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize