We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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