loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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