she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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