If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
