My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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