What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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