i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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