thus making me awesome and them whores
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i've created a new STD.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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