So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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