I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
do herpes really smell.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
