Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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