Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
