they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
