the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
