How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
