How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
