my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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