Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
