you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
How's work?
Spinning.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
