How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
